David Bowie’s real name is distinctively British (David Robert Jones), he was born in Brixton, and has presumably given his gun-of-Brixton to numerous women including his supermodel wife, we’ve still got to ask, is David Bowie gay or British?

Bowie’s early career began with him recording singles under the name The Manish Boys, suspect to say the least.  In addition, upon hearing Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti” Bowie remarked that he had “heard God.”  Really?  In Little Richard?

The glam-rock star is rumored to have met his first wife because they were “fucking the same bloke” at the time.  Additionally, that same wife wrote she once had a threesome with Mick and Bowie.  The Mick Bowie relationship is a whole other article all together.  In a 1976 interview with Playboy Bowie remarked, “It’s true—I am bisexual.”  Wow, it’s really piling up.  Then in a 1983 Rolling Stone interview Bowie said that his comments about his bisexuality was “the biggest mistake I ever made.”

The whole glam-rock thing is a bit suspect.  Make-up is for women and men who dress like women, presumably because they are gay, right?  But, being a rock star is awfully British.  The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, and Bowie were all sex symbols for a heterosexual world.  And Bowie, need I remind you, is married to a supermodel.

Let’s get to the verdict.

GAY
An admission of guilt, a publicized affair with a man, wearing make-up, all add up to a convincing verdict.

BRITISH
David Robert Jones is a rock star with piles of money, fame, and women.

BOTH
There may be overwhelming evidence for the gay title, but, we’re still scared to call it one or the other.