In the case of the people versus Jon Bon Jovi the evidence continues to mount for the prosecution. This man is an unfettered, unrepentant, greedy Dirt Bag. Jon Bon Jovi is now suing Bon Jovi tribute bands. Yes, Jon has decided that these poor schlubs who love his half-assed music so much, they dedicate themselves to playing it in clubs should either stop doing that, or PAY him! Attorneys for Bon Jovi have sent out Cease & Desist orders to the tribute bands in question and asked for an accounting of their finances. Hey Jon Bon Jovi, get a life, you presumptuous, pampered, and overpaid Prima Donna. Better yet, kill yourself and take your bad music with you.

Ozzy Osbourne needs to stop making horrible TV shows. Ozzy, you’re supposed to be a Metal God, not everyone’s stammering, yammering brain dead uncle.

Kudos to the Boston TV Station that had the good sense not to air Jay Leno’s new show in the fall. This executive sees what NBC clearly doesn’t; Leno is going to fail, fast and hard in primetime. I look forward to the day NBC has to pull the plug on his unfunny, disingenuous ass.

Chris Brown pleaded not guilty. Pictures of Rihanna’s face, post-beatdown, beg to differ.

I never paid much mind to Radiohead, but the news that they refused to meet Miley Cyrus inspires me to consider buying their entire catalog.

A Footloose remake? Really? Dear Hollywood, how about coming up with one or two original ideas!? I know the premise is shocking, but it would be more interesting than continuing to remake the same films over and over again. What’s next a remake of “It’s Pat?” And no I can’t imagine anyone but Julia Sweeney in the title role.

Rejoice music lovers, David Hasselhoff’s daughters are putting together a band! We can only hope they come close to the juggernaut that is their Dads musical career. I know I know he’s popular in Germany; proving only that Germans have bad taste in music.

-Gabe Sasso
Freelance Writer
www.gabesview.com
www.gabesletters.com
www.drinkdrycreek.com

Do you know what the first sign is that former Guns ‘n’ Roses drummer Steven Adler’s new band is lame? It’s the name: Adler’s Appetite. If you have to directly reference your old band in the name of your new band, it’s probably time to try something new.

Jay Leno has been stealing for years. He has most often stolen ideas and bits directly and brazenly from both David Letterman and Howard Stern. Just days after Letterman had U2 on for an entire week; Jay Leno has announced he’s having Prince on for 4 straight days. This unfunny, kiss-ass has never had a musical act on for more than a night, and now all of a sudden he got the brilliant idea to do it for 4 nights? At least it underscores, once again, what an unoriginal, shameless, no talent, shyster Jay Leno really is.

The headline: “Ryan Adams weds Mandy Moore in Secret Ceremony.” If that’s the HEADLINE, must not be such a secret.

I knew there was SOMETHING I didn’t like about Jon Bon Jovi. The news that he scalps his own bands tickets, cements his status as the disingenuous, hack I’d already believed him to be.

Reality TV “star” Jane Goody has died. Come again. Who?

Jimmy Chamberlain has quit as drummer for the Smashing Pumpkins. Didn’t they break up 10 years ago?

Apparently Michael Jackson is trying to adopt a child in England. He already has 3 kids and two of them are named “Prince Michael.” Sorry, if you can’t come up with original names for each and every one of your kids, you can’t have anymore.

Glad to see Octo-Mom had time to go to an amusement park. When is this woman going to be locked up and/or medicated?

Shout out to the Fat British Family that wants more welfare money for food. If $30,000 dollars a year isn’t enough to feed four people, you should probably eat LESS. Shocking, isn’t it!?

The general public’s obsession with the health of Steve Jobs and his veneration as a messiah like figure is absolutely absurd. Look, I know the iPod and iPhone are cool devices but I’m holding off on worshiping him until he unveils something truly revolutionary, like the iPussy!

Jay McGwire, Mark’s brother felt that need to announce that the retired baseball player used steroids. What a stunning revelation. In other news, the sky is blue.

I heard U2’s new single, “Get On Your Boots.” The song is an absolutely molten pile of shit. It keeps their place as the most overrated band in the history of rock music intact. Someone please pick Bono up by his ankles and kill Tom Cruise WITH him. That way we’ll be rid of two annoying, talentless hacks.

Why is the US Airways pilot being treated as the second coming? I’m sure it’s difficult to land a plane on water, but last I checked, landing a plane IS HIS JOB! Chill out people!

Word is that Joe Torre really rips A-Rod in his soon to be released book about the time he spent with the Yankees. My only question: Joe, what took you so long to tear in to that useless prima donna? He folds under pressure and is a constant distraction. Too bad you didn’t tear him a new one publicly when you were still managing the Yankees.

Michael Jackson’s Thriller album may become a Broadway Musical. Quite frankly I’m more interested in the story of his transformation from black child pop star to white adult (alleged) child molester.

When NBC moves Jay Leno to 10:00 PM he’s still going to suck harder than a drowning man gasping for his last breath of air. However, in his new earlier time slot, more of the viewers will be conscious enough to realize he hasn’t had a funny or original idea since the Reagan Administration.

Am I the only one who doesn’t give a rat’s ass that George Clooney is returning for a “special” episode during the final season of ER?

Glad to see the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is finally going to induct Little Anthony & the Imperials. Seriously how are they in and Rush, The Moody Blues, Jethro Tull, Iron Maiden, & Chicago to name but a few are not? With every year that these true legends of rock and hard rock are left out the Rock Hall makes itself more obsolete and irrelevant.